Some days I feel like Katniss Everdeen from the Hunger Games……
As the People Business Partner for Dunelm Technology, I have a lot on my plate. In fact, I’m spinning many plates. Our People agenda is huge, and challenging, as like with most businesses, digitalisation is key to business growth, and at Dunelm, we’re on a journey to become tech-powered and people led.
But I’m also at a certain time of my life where I often don’t feel in control of certain things, such as my emotions and my mental capacity, both of which result in me doubting my capability, and then those plates that I mentioned above, they start to drop.
There have been many times when I’ve felt like I was losing it altogether. I remember one conversation with my doctor, where I demanded a dementia test, as I had previously lost my dad to Alzheimer’s which he had developed in his late 50's, and as my memory was so bad, and I couldn’t remember the words for simple things, or would get words mixed up, I thought I had early onset myself. But instead, it turned out I was/am perimenopausal.
The tiredness, fatigue, brain fog (it really is a thing, a horrible, horrible, thing) mood swings, loss of confidence, horendous memory loss, disturbed sleep, weight gain, and some days where I shit you not, I’m unable to string a sentence together, are now part of my everyday life.
Some days I’m on fire, I feel like Katniss Everdeen from the Hunger games, riding gallantly in my chariot through the city center, in my dress of fire. And then other days, my pilot light is barely flickering and is about to go out.
I’m the type of person who HAS to be the best version of themselves, 100% of the time. And if I'm anything less than that, it gets me down. REALLY gets me down.
But since joining Dunelm, I’m more comfortable with, and accepting of the stage of life that I’m at. They ‘get’ it. They openly talk about it. It’s not taboo. They value diversity and what it brings. Yes, they have a business to run (a bloody successful one at that), and they drive business performance, but their openness and understanding of how the menopause (or perimenopause in my case) can affect you, lifts some of the frustration and worry going on in my mind.
They strive to create an environment that brings out the best in you, and with their caring and inclusive culture, I feel right at home, have a sense of purpose, and feel that I belong.
I’ve found my happy place.